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Ayanbadejo, Baltimore, Brendon, Burns, Chris, cockmonster, Emmett, football, gay, homophobia, homophobic, homosexual, Kluwe, linebacker, marriage, Maryland, NFL, punter, Ravens, Vikings

Two of My Passions Combine in a Whirlwind of Awesomeness

Today two of the great loves of my life are crossing paths in my blog.  It is the first day of Colts football for the season (and by the looks of it…a loooong season for us fans – hey, we’re building from the ground up…give ’em a break), and NFL players are standing up to make a statement to an ignorant politician who is trying to stifle the rights of people in Maryland. 

Left to right: Chris Kluwe, Brendon Ayandejo, and Emmett C. Burns, Jr.

Many of you may have heard of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo speaking out in favor of gay marriage.  I will begin by saying that I’m so happy to see a person who has a stage like Ayanbadejo standing up and using it for the right reasons.  Well done, sir.

On the other side of this…Maryland House of Delegates member Emmett C. Burns Jr. discovered Ayanbadejo’s support of gay marriage, and promptly took action.  He sent a letter to the Ravens organization with the following message:

“I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo, would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Ravens football player…
I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions. I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing.”

If you missed it…let me highlight a specific quote from this letter, “I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions.”  Translation: Threaten your player’s job to make him stop advocating and speaking up in support of gay marriage.

We didn’t need any further evidence that morons like Burns are not at all interested in the fundamental rights of the people, but he provided it anyway.  I guess he just doesn’t care for the First Amendment, but I don’t think people opposed to gay marriage put much stock in any of the Constitution. For those of you who are not familiar with Burns (because I wasn’t until this story), here is a little information.  He is a Democratic politician serving his fourth term in the Maryland House of Delegates.  Yes, I said Democratic.  They make crazy lunatic in all forms and I don’t restrain myself from calling a jackass for what he is because of a political party.  From what I read, this tool is a Baptist Minister.  Westboro would be so proud! 

On a quick side note…what is the obsession so many Baptists have with homosexuality?  I know its not all Baptists, but good grief!  Why am I always hearing about Baptists doing something to the LGBT community?  To all of you obsessed Baptists out there…please read the rest of the Bible!  There is a lot more in it than a couple of verses about homosexuality!  Moving on…

In a bright silver lining to this story, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe sent the following letter to Burns in an effort to inform him of exactly how much of a douchebag he really is. 

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland’s state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. “Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement.” Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who’s “deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland”? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you’re going to say that political views have “no place in a sport”? I can’t even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for “beautiful oppressionism”).

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I’m fairly certain you might need it.

Chris Kluwe

P.S. I’ve also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your “I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing” and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

Well said, Kluwe.   I don’t really have a lot to add to that.  Obviously Burns is another anti-Constitutional prick who doesn’t care about others’ rights.  I’m glad Ayanbadejo and Kluwe are showing the world that people with a stage can speak out for reason and equality.  I saw a website with a new campaign supporting the LGBT community that I love…LEGALIZE LOVE.  I couldn’t say it better.

Visit LegalizeLove.com to show your support and get a free Legalize Love bumper sticker!



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